We all change every day. Do we want to get smarter, wiser and stronger or just random changes? We think we know how make better decisions as we get older. And yet we always do irrational predictable stuff. The Way to come around this by choosing your surroundings and the people you spend the most time with. So How do you get new friends that you can spend more time with? And how do we design our environment so it help us to make better decisions?
How to Win Friends and Influence People [Start by Changing how you treat other people]
Today I did it. Bought the audiobook How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie on Audible and started listen to it. It has been on my to-do list for a long time. I just heard a good interview with Scott Dinsmore on the Podcast Knowledge for Men (episode 39) that it was one of his favourites books. So that finally triggered me to do it. I have read the sum up lists on Wikipedia and thought that, that was it. But no. The book is full with so much insight that it is a marvel for being written in 1937. And there in lies the great mystery.
If they knew back then, by empirical evidence, that it’s great to follow all this advice. Then why aren’t we all doing it today, almost 80 years later. Why aren’t these findings taught to every kid in every school?
Well, I don’t have an answer for that. What we can do is start talking about it and teaching it today.
Here is the first list that I wrote about in my first famous blogpost: Why are we so Groupish? Get a feel for it and if you want more just find the book yourself.
Ways to Make People Like You
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
How You Really Make Decisions [Mental Shotgun, Confirmation bias and so on…]
I also found the english version of the documentary that we saw here last monday in Sweden with Dan Ariely and Daniel Kahneman about all the ways that our human brain makes thinking errors. Go se it in english here from BBC Horizon: How You Really Make Decisions.
Since there are som many ways that we can do things the wrong way there is only one way to make things better. To set up the surrounding world so that is helps us and not sets us back. Design institutions, cities, laws, work, processes so that they avoid all the fallacies of the brain. And there is a lot of them. Over 145 to Kahneman’s counting.
So If changing yourself is so hard. Change your surroundings and the people you spend time with instead. Design your environment and what you come in contact with on a daily basis. Then you will come along way — Michael Sillion
Set yourself up For The Win [Architect the world around you]
Today I also found 2 great clips from The School of Life in London. Check them out:
Change isn’t hard. You do it every second. You just have to come aware of your actions. And it really helps if you have a vision, a goal or a mission to align your actions to. So go out and change yourself and the world around you so as it best align with the future that is your Destiny(nation). — Michael Sillion
Holistic Thinking Ninja